Love Too Deep, Too Fast Can Bring Relationship Problems
The following is a continuation of the “Relationship Rescue” articles. This particular problem can be a real bummer in a relationship very quickly.
Too Deep, Too Fast
How many times have you fallen head-first in love with someone only to learn that they’re not quite in the same place emotionally as you are? It’s a common story that can sometimes lead to heartbreak and misery.
You might feel as though you’ve found Prince Charming or Miss Right, but your partner might see things as little differently. Their viewpoint could possibly be more in line with just having some fun. Perhaps they’re just discovering their feelings for you and aren’t quite sure what they all mean yet.
When there’s a distinct difference in the speed you’re both moving things forward, this can sometimes be a source of insecurity for one person, while the other may begin to feel pressured.
Both of these symptoms can be enough to break down a relationship before it’s even begun.
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Mending the Rift
It’s important to remember that not everyone will feel the same things at the same time. Expecting your partner to fall in love at precisely the same rate as you is unrealistic.
Far too many promising relationships end because one person is happy to express feelings of love and devotion and even begin planning the wedding, while the other is still trying to make sense of the things he or she is feeling.
This lack of synchronicity usually leads to arguments and feelings of rejection by the person who is feeling more intently at that time. The truth is, you’re not being rejected at all. You’re simply dealing with a person who may have more issues to deal with before allowing feelings of love to come to the surface.
Before you give in to an emotional outburst and demand to know why your partner doesn’t love you yet, give it some more time. Spend time doing fun things together that will allow your partner to appreciate your qualities and you’ll find the feelings will develop more freely when they’re given time and space to do so.
Remember that the happiest relationships involve respect for each others feelings and needs.
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Decide Which Dating Venue is Right for You
Online Dating
Now, you’re ready to get started dating. There are a lot of different venues available for you to meet your perfect partner, and you’ll want to choose one or more of them that you think are most compatible with who you are, the type of relationship you want, and who you want to meet.
One of the most common dating venues is online dating. While it used to have a stigma attached to it, so many people have met their partners online that it’s now seen as a great way to meet partners. In determining whether it’s right for you, though, there are some things you’ll want to consider.
Pros to Online Dating
Searching for a partner online is great for people who are comfortable with technology. If you check email often and keep up with your friends mainly through Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites, then online dating sites could probably be a good dating venue for you to consider. If any of the above-mentioned sites make you uncomfortable, however, you might want to think twice before investing your time and energy here.
Dating online is also great for people who don’t have very much time, or who have most of their free time available at a time of day when other people aren’t available. If, for instance, you work nights but spend most of that time on the computer, online dating might be a great way for you to use some of those hours.
Finally, online dating can help people who are shy, introverted, or who hate going to social gatherings for another reason to still meet their perfect partner. Because most online dating sites give you a chance to get to know someone without having to meet first, it can cover some of the awkward moments that often occur in real life meetings.
Cons to Online Dating
On the downside, it can be hard to know what is and is not real in the world of online dating. Thus, in-person meetings, when you finally get to them, can be disappointing and difficult. It would be nice to say that everyone you meet online is honest and no one is saying anything untrue, but that’s a falsehood in and of itself.
The truth is that, while most people on online dating sites are there in all goodwill, there are always those there to take advantage of others, and it can be hard to know the difference before you meet in person.
In addition, online dating can move too slowly for some people. If you’re extroverted or want to get things moving, online dating might take longer than your patience or time-frame will allow.
Online Dating Tips
The most important tip about dating online is finding a reputable site. If you’re new to this world, make sure you talk to someone who has dated this way or at least read some site reviews before you invest any time or energy in using a particular service.
When you do choose a service, be honest and straightforward in your profile. Don’t be afraid to put a realistic, recent photo of yourself up. No matter how critical you are about your own appearance, you may find that you are perceived as attractive by someone reading your profile.
While it may be tempting to stretch the truth in some areas, that will only cause you problems later. Be honest about your interests, hobbies, likes, dislikes and anything else you think could spark a common interest with a potential new partner. This will make it much easier for you to find compatible people who share the same interests, ideals, goals or beliefs as you do.
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